he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
we're so committed to being not committed
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
