So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
