Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm like, not good at living.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
