I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
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