so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
