I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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