They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
3 2 1 whiskey
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Randomize
