Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
