Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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