just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
