She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
