why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
