Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
