like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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