Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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