I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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