; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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