Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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