I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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