I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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