I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize