Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
