His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
