I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize