"it" just moved
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
