so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
