allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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