apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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