He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
