Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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