jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
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