the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
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My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
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Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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