Already got asked if we're dating
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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