When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
OPIZZABONMYDICK
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
