Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
