your parents love me but you hate me
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
