Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
