Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
