This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Mom said you looked used
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
