road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
