She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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