Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
