Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
