with your own penis?
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
