Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
