the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
