saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
