I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
