I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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