Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
