will power is for people who don't want to get laid
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
