I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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