If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
