and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
