And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
