Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Randomize