Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
