thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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