Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
