I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I deserve this hangover.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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