Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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