so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
