peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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