last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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