Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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