WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize