sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
ugly people sure do ruin things
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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