Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
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I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how drunk are you?
Several
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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