Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
