in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
