yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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