I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
