I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
