Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
where are you?
Hypothermia
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
