Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.