Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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