i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
