We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
