we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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