i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
