So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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